THIS IS MY STORY - JOHN DEWITT

This is My Story | John DeWitt

When I was a child, I dealt with severe mental health issues. I had (and still have) Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Anxiety, and Depression. I saw everything through the fog that my mental illness cast over my eyes.

Because of this, I felt alone. I felt alone at school, I felt alone at church. When I went to church, instead of feeling welcomed and loved, I felt like an outsider with nowhere to belong.

I never stopped believing in God, but I did stop attending church for almost 2 years. It was too much to get up on Sunday morning and go to a space where I felt I had no place.

It is important to note that this was not the reality. I am sure I was welcomed more than I realized and loved more than I knew. In fact, what ultimately got me back in church was a person in the youth group who smiled, waved, asked me how I was doing, and invited me back to church every time she saw me.

That kid who wanted nothing to do with church all those years ago now serves as the Associate Pastor of Youth and Senior Adults at Rolesville Baptist Church.

Recently, I began writing a lesson series on the Book of Ruth. In the first chapter of Ruth, everything goes wrong for Naomi and her daughters-in-law. Naomi sheds her name–which means pleasant one–for Mara, which means bitter. 

She begs her daughters-in-law to go back to their own people and remarry. She sees no future for herself. She is an older widow with very few prospects. She decides to go back to her hometown and live off of the generosity of others. Orpah makes the reasonable decision to go back to Moab, but Ruth does not. Ruth decides to stay with Naomi and accept the seemingly inevitable hardship that would follow.

The last verse of Ruth 1 states:

So Naomi returned from Moab accompanied by Ruth the Moabite, her daughter-in-law, arriving in Bethlehem as the barley harvest was beginning.

Ruth 1:25 NIV

I encourage you to read the book of Ruth and see how God works through that year’s harvest.

That barley harvest was a significant factor in Naomi and Ruth’s restoration, and also vital to the Messianic line. Ruth was King David’s great grandmother

Even though Naomi and Ruth could not yet see it, God’s plan was already in motion. God is working while they cannot see past their grief.

I began attending church again in 8th grade and I began attending youth group again in 9th grade. My youth pastor taught us the importance of welcoming everyone and how to live in a way that embodies Christ’s commands to love God and love our neighbors.

I was then called by God into ministry. I felt particularly drawn to youth ministry. I had the desire that no kids would feel like they did not have a place in church.

Even when I could not see past my internal struggle and suffering as a child, God used the persistence of my friend. She kept saying hello and inviting me to church.

God was (and is) still working on me. God has redeemed my struggle and I am able to use it to help other kids like me who may not feel welcome at church.

Even in the time of my struggle, the barley harvest was beginning.

God is working on you, with you, and for you, even when we can’t see past the pain.